| Human beings are social animals, driven by a natural gregariousness to seek each other out. Yet some of us are self-imposed social recluses, victims of intense social anxiety - avoiding social gatherings, meeting strangers or being in public gaze. They are acutely conscious of what people may think of their background, level of education or their looks. Some may have to fortify themselves to meet such social situations with a peg or two while others manage at the expense of feeling extremely anxious, sick and worried. For some, who become over whelmed with anxiety amounting to panic, such social contacts may be next to impossible.
Most of us have some qualms of anxiety, if we have to appear in public and give speech, face an interview, perform a social ritual or entertain. These anxieties are common place and are acceptable as normal. But chronic social anxiety can turn usually socially competent people into social phobics. It has been estimated that approximately 35% of the population experience some form of social phobia at some point of time in life. If you happen to be one of them, take heart that you are not alone.
The situation dreaded by a social phobic are usually involving eating and drinking with others, or a meeting where people are seated and the person is being watched while doing something. In severe conditions, a person may be frightened to even make eye contact or shake hands as it may involve a further conversation. Work becomes intolerable due to fear of constant interaction with colleagues.
The unpleasant symptoms include palpitations, shaking, trembling, sweating, frequent urination, nausea, vomiting and blushing. Worse still, the phobic person feels that his or her symptoms are obvious for all to see! These symptoms themselves reinforce the anxiety experienced adding further to the discomfort, leading to a vicious cycle.
How and Why Does Social Anxiety Develop?
It can be present from childhood due to certain personality characteristics like shyness, nervousness, self consciousness or introversion. Almost everyone suffers from social anxiety in adolescence but while most of us grow out of their anxieties, the socially anxious person remains stuck in it. Rarely, the problem comes on in later life and if so is usually precipitated by a specific stressful incident - an interview, meeting with a senior boss or the first date - which probably turned out to be a disaster! The symptoms of anxiety may generalize to other such situations, producing inexplicable fear and avoidance of social situations and interactions.
Much of social phobic anxiety is actually related to sexual anxiety or fears related to one’s perceived attractiveness to the opposite sex-about looking ugly, foolish or doing something stupid in their presence. Some social phobics even dread being touched by someone of the opposite sex, the shyness being of a sexual nature. These fears are probably the result of sexual myths and taboos that our society is riddled with.
Overcoming Social Anxiety and Phobia
The first step in overcoming social anxiety is to recognize that it is not simply a matter of ‘nerves’ but a real fear response that needs help.
You can help yourself if you are socially anxious. First try to analyze and understand how the anxieties came about and what form it takes. The questions you have to ask yourself: What exactly is it that troubles you? Do you feel unhappy in all social situations or only some? If there are just some, then which ones? What form does the discomfort take? These kind of questions lead to a better understanding of your problem. Then, make a list of the social situations you would like to gradually expose yourself to, starting from simple ones like visiting friends or neighbors known to you, to more complex social situations like going to a restaurant, attending functions or parties etc. You are thus gradually climbing a ladder where you do not go on the next rung until you are firmly settled on the first. But before you attempt this, be sure to learn to relax by learning deep breathing, yoga, meditation or focusing your thoughts on pleasant things, which help to control your anxiety levels while tackling the phobic situation. If all this proves futile, do not waste time. Seek professional help of a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist who will use a combination of medicines and behavior therapy or therapy alone to treat social phobia. It is possible to grow out of it completely and some of the social phobics have gone on to become outstanding orators and successful people. So, if you have this problem or feel you are developing one, act now, before your relationships break down and life becomes a lonely existence!
—Dr. Avdesh Sharma is a celebrated mental health expert and Heads ‘Media and Public Education Committee’ of ‘Psychiatry in Developing Countries Section’ of World Psychiatric Association.
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